Actions have consequences.
That's something I'll have to keep in mind.

I don't know if I'm really over you right now.
Even though it has been awhile,
Quite awhile,
I still feel regret whenever I see you.
I dislike talking about you.
Why must it turn out like that?
I really wonder if things would be different
If I hadn't said those things to you.
Things could be different right now
If you didn't just start to ignore me like that.
You didn't care about me and only about her.
I thought that maybe that phase would pass.
But it didn't.
Slowly, I started to hate you.
I started to really hate you for not caring.
And when they started to dislike you,
I was actually glad.
If I hadn't jumped onto the bandwagon and started to show you attitude,
We could have gone back to being Best Friends.
Our friendship was destroyed just like that.
And I thought perhaps I could patch it back again.
Well, I thought wrong.
What's done is done.
I cannot turn back time.
I cannot undo what I've done.
And now I'm unhappy.
And I've been distracting myself from this for a very long time now.
I've finally decided to confront this and type this out.
Because sometimes, my heart feels heavy when I think about you.
Because things could have been different now.
But I ruined everything.
And I regret.
Regret is insight that comes a day too late.
And it was way too late when I admitted my feelings about you.
I don't know okay.
I don't know.
I don't know my emotions.
It's like everything is one big mess inside me.
I don't even know if the regret I'm feeling is for you.
But I'm guessing it is.

Actions have consequences.
That's something I must keep in mind.

And now, you've come along.
And you remind me of him.

♥ 11:00 PM